Dear Human Leader,
I write this letter as I think you may feel you have lost your way.
There is no way laid out that you are meant to follow.
The footprints in the sand you are following are your own.
So now … just where are you heading?
Please know that learning to lead yourself through challenging times is the heart of growing as a human. We thought we had it easy in the modern western technology-driven world.
But now the picture is thickening, so I want to remind you of a few things to remember:
- You were not born to service a mortgage;
- A happy life is not created by owning things but by relationship quality;
- We are all mortal and life is precious and measured – did you think it was any other way? Value your every day and don’t take life for granted!
- Learn to lead yourself more wisely … before or as you lead others. It’s the high jump.
We are in unprecedented times as we are collectively experiencing the pressure of uncertainty at new levels, with dislocation from our old lives.
We are in an in-between or liminal time – where we don’t know our future and the rise of uncertainty has led to a rise in anxiety. Massively. I see it in my clients increasing every few months.
We don’t and didn’t every really know what was coming next in life.
All spiritual teachers teach that!! But to share this angst on a planetary level adds an intensity to the experience. Just cos we can know what is happening on the planet all at the one time, doesn’t mean our minds, hearts and psyches, can cope with all the news!
So leading yourself wisely in this time is an art.
Leaders of others need delicacy, less distraction, more clarity, heart and compassion in these days. It’s a complex and challenging time, so leaders need more wisdom.
Leading oneself is the biggest challenge still.
The most important connection to keep is the one to yourself.
Human, embodied, total YOU!
When did it begin – this loss of connection to self?
First, there is the “trance of elsewhere”.
Being pre occupied with emails or social media with a device in your hands with what is happening elsewhere reduces true authentic presence. I have been tracking this trance with my clients for a few years now. We stimulate our minds more and lose connection with the present moment and present place more. You are most happy when you are present to those near you. And to yourself. Life is more than a scroll down a page to see what other people are doing. And life will not be happier if you answer work emails at 11 pm, rather than sleep or be with your loved ones in the peace of night energy
Add the overwhelm of surfing the waves of over-loading information, and we end up living in an age of anxiety. Fear is increasing as we live more in our heads and less in our bodies.
Please look after your body more. Feed it well, give it deep rest. Take it to quiet places in deep nature. Breathe more deeply, still your mind more often.
And hang out with other people more. Just for fun, and love.
Humans have survived all kinds of challenges through history ( think the ice age, the mammoths, invasions, food shortages, plague … ) only through assisting each other. Our strength- like all pack, tribe or herd creatures – is in numbers. By banding together and using our varying strengths to create ideas and machines, to add energy and muscle, to diversify our skills into hunting and collecting. To share and discuss, to marvel and question the mystery of life and all it teaches.
We know that the tribe is stronger than the individual.
So one of the most insidious dangers of our current era is feeling wary of each other.
Being told to keep distant is a good way to increase anxiety in a tribal society!
Less contact, less hugs, less doing things with others outside our family pack, can breed a less functional society indeed.
Work on:
Connection
Vulnerability
Authenticity
Empathy
Compassion
More than:
Being efficient.
Being available to your work for longer and longer hours every day.
Being up to the minute with negative news.
Being alike. Live out your differentness – the tribe has always thrived with diversity, not conformity or being the same!
We are all in our personal narratives, finding a new way in life that is unfamiliar. There is no shame in NOT knowing your way. There is no shame in feeling unclear or overwhelmed.
Creativity arises in times like these.
So how are you practicing loving yourself in your human body? And don’t worry if you haven’t all the answers yet.
The role of leadership isn’t to know everything, to run everything, to control everything.
It’s to bring all your gifts, talents and skills to benefit others. And to stay close to the core of your inner needs and dialogue. Follow your intuition and inner guidance, as you deal with the alchemy of change.
To lead others means helping others be successful, to shine from their best.
So bring your sense of being human, bring your vulnerability.
Bring all of who you are – that means strengths AND weaknesses, to this human and humbling place called leading.
“We don’t have to do it all alone…
We were never meant to.”
–Brene Brown
The pandemic has given us more time at home in family, to reflect and re-frame who we are in our ways of working. Here is a note I wrote to myself in an airport in 2016. I don’t sit in airports anymore, as my work is now all online… but its still live looking back at that Friday night …
“If I could say one thing to the world it would be –
“Don’t lose your humanity!! Feel your body as you lead.”
Sitting on a Friday night flight out of Sydney,
full of corporate Daddies
heading home to longing children and exhausted wives
waiting for their swap over buddy…
remember work should uplift you,
make you proud
to be on purpose,
to be of benefit to the planet.
But it should not kill your
body early, exhaust you to your core,
nor take you away most of the week from those you love.
Work is a major aspect of who you are
but not all you are!!!
Your heart gives compassion
and courage (le couer in french).
Your intuition and gut give you insight
and decision-making ability beyond logic
Your body tells you when you feel aligned
And on vision with a healthy robust team
(able to hold conflicting opinions
to debate
to be different
yet share goals
trust
and respect.)
Your body sure tells you when it’s not that way hey??!
Please listen to your body
Follow your heart
Heed your own gut and soul …
as you steer your way in leadership
The mind is only part of the story
Be fully human!!
its a big gig … could take a lifetime!
love Virginia Sada York